Monday, January 19, 2009

Instead of crying,

I am analyzing and over thinking this situation. Here I am sitting at my sister-in-laws house while she is in sunny Texas looking for a place to live and getting her hubby settled into his new job and hotel. I am reading about my friends that moved to Japan( on their blog) and wondering if my other just recently moved friends have made it to their new destination yet. While also wishing I could call my cross country friends who moved a couple years ago(way too late with the time difference). Do you see a pattern here? How could I have grown up in a military family(family is different, you get to see them for holidays or when they come back to visit) that moved around constantly and still not be used to people leaving? I think I finally after all those years let myself get close to people and that must be why it seems harder to say goodbye now than it used to. Who am I kidding it never was easy. I am thankful for the people we have met and become close to but I am still learning why they always seem to be the ones leaving. Does God have other plans , other people I am going to feel as close to? It seems impossible now, but, when now is later maybe I will not be so skeptical. I am thinking about the stinkiness, the sadness, the regret I feel and asking God to show me why He keeps taking my comfort zones away. Those people who have left really were comfort zones I think, places I could feel liked for myself and grow freely in that comfort so why does that have to disappear?

OH and by the way, the BUG guy came and D says the ants are doing the death walk! He found about 20 of them slowly wandering by the front window. I guess the problem has to get worse before it gets better.


Heather said...

oh Jen I will be your comfort zone. I miss rebecca too, wish she didn't have to go.

Kimi said...

i'm almost crying here. i'm living it man. i try not to get close to anyone. i know thats not the right attitude but i can't help it. it hurts too much. i already hurt enough when eric leaves...i can't do anymore. i wish i could just live near you guys...i miss you.